Did everything just taste purple?

I so feel like crying right now. But I can't. I don't know why. I almost did a few times tonight while I was with friends, but I held it back. And now that I am completely alone, I can't do it.

It has been such a highly emotional day. Too many things have happened, but I guess the most significant was finding out that my uncle passed away. We thought he was doing better. Although, in retrospect, I guess he really wasn't. He had his moments. The funeral is Thursday. So at least I will be home for that.

I really didn't feel like being around anyone tonight. But I am glad that I went when Payam called. Honestly, if anyone else had called, I probably would have said no. It's kind of funny, I guess.

I have one more full day here. That's enough. So, 'til next time...

So today was my 'going away party' at work. It was sweet. I really appreciate all of the people there. They have done so much to influence so much of who I am today. I think I really got hit in the face today by what I'm leaving. I know I can't stay forever, but I really am going to miss it. There are certain people I will miss more than others, but I will do my best to keep in touch. As Nate said yesterday, 'we know how that goes.'

So, I'm saying my goodbyes slowly. I started with Becca. That was hard. And it's been hard without her for the past few weeks. Then I said goodbye at the church a few weeks ago. That was sweet. Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend. We hung out for a while and it was great. Today, CCFI really made me feel loved. It is nice to be appreciated. I am so glad I found that place. It has definitely been a welcoming place. Yes, of course there are problems, which I'm sure I've documented, but overall they do great things and their involvement in people's lives do make a difference. Tomorrow is my official last day with staff. It's bittersweet, as most goodbyes are. I'm going to miss a lot of it, but I'll be okay. :)

I'm crazy emotional lately too. Too many things have been taking place and some have been kind of strange. Some are good...some are bad. I'm kind of a mix of emotions right now. I really want to find a place of calmness. *breathe* Yeah, good luck w/ that one right? I'm not nervous or stressed, I'm just emotional. I'm excited and sad. I'm happy and confused. It's strange. I'm focusing on the positives and spending time with those I love and who challenge me to be a better person. I'm enjoying it. I'm trying to make the best of it all. Hopefully I can spend time with my 3 remaining best friends this weekend. I really want quality time with them. Hopefully there won't be any interferences. *sigh*

Well, 'til next time...

I like change, but sometimes it's hard to take. Becca leaves tomorrow. :( Very sad. I am very happy for her though. She will do well & I will do my best to keep in touch. I know I will miss her so much. I guess it's a good thing that I'm going to be so incredibly busy these next few weeks. (Today was an indication of that.)

I'm excited to be getting ready to get out of Norman, myself. It's been a long time coming. I wish it had happened earlier, just b/c I think I would have been able to do more things then. But it will work out. I'm interested to see how things are going to turn out.

I am so ready for bed. But I needed to blog first. :) We went out tonight. I got to meet Becca's best friend, Stacy. It was fun. Ashley was with us too. I haven't seen her in a while. It was good to see her. I'm glad I decided to go. I was debating it, esp. in the beginning when I thought there would be more people, but this was a good group. We met an interesting woman tonight. It was quite funny. Oh, the things that happen when friends get together. :)

Well, I guess I should go to bed. I'm exhausted & I need sleep. I have to be at Becca's by 12:45 tomorrow, so I should sleep. Hopefully I'll be up by 11. We'll see...so, 'til next time...