Did everything just taste purple?

I've been thinking a lot about God lately, trying to examine my own faith and what I stand for. It's interesting how when things slow down enough in life, the big topics start to take shape in one's mind. So...God. I believe in God now, as much as I ever did, when I began believing. I know that some people have skewed perceptions of who He really is and why people believe in Him. I didn't always believe---I remember making a conscious decision to believe and desire to know more. I also believe in Jesus and that He died so that I wouldn't have to and could be forgiven. I don't expect everyone to support this, or believe this, or even like this, but this is my statement. I have also had a skewed view of these things and mainly b/c I needed someone to blame for all the things that have gone wrong in life. I wanted God to be a scape-goat. Nice, huh? I am not the most spiritual person, not by far---but I just needed to get this out. It's been so long since I've had any faith---in anything. It may not make sense to anyone, but I would rather have faith in something that may seem ridiculous to others than not believe in anything at all. It doesn't matter what people think of this, I needed to put it into words.