Did everything just taste purple?

This has been quite a semester. I was sitting here thinking about all the things that has happened over these past 5 months. my final semester at OU, and December hasn't even begun yet. I have met some really interesting people and have managed to keep some really great friendships going. Where do I begin?

The Killers and Green Day! Wow, what a way to begin it. I still can't express how absoultely amazing it was. We had such a great time!

Classes have gone pretty well overall this semester. I have enjoyed meeting people and learning about new things. It's been really fun. My last 3 classes, wow. I'm so excited!

Thanksgiving was hilarious. I got to spend it with some of my favorite people, and even got to know one person better. It was definitely one of the best Thanksgivings I've taken part of. I love my friends! Thanks guys! I heart you! ;)

I know I still have a few weeks left at OU, but it already feels like it's over. I don't know how to describe it. I'm glad, and I think I'm okay with it b/c I'm not leaving my friends right away. Don't get me wrong, I really want to leave Norman, but I am going to miss my friends so much. I honestly don't know what I would do without them sometimes. I have made some new friends this semester as well, and I love them dearly. I think the '5 year curse' has been broken. I really want to be friends with these people for life. At the same time, I feel somewhat distant from some friends. I don't know what it is. Maybe things will change. I don't know. I am really lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. People that care for me and will tell me what I need to hear, even if it isn't what I want to hear. I am truley blessed to be so fortunate. As one friend said, "Family doesn't necessarily mean 'blood'"--my friends are definitely part of my family, regardless of how our backgrounds are different. I love each of my friends and appreciate them for what they have become to me in my life. I couldn't ask for better. This is making me feel kinda sappy, so I think I'll end it here. So...'til next time...

For the Best
Straylight run

And it takes more time than I've ever had
Drains the life from me, makes me want to forget
As young as I was, I felt older back then
More disciplined, stronger and certian
But I was scared to death of eternity
I was saved by grace and destroyed by naivety
And I lied to myself and said it was for the best

So now faith is replaced with logic so cold
I've disregarded what I was now that I'm older
And I know much more then I did back then
But the more I learn the more I can't understand
And I've become content with this life that I lead
Where I drink to much and dont believe in much of anything
And I lie to myself, and say its for the best

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that will never come...
We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that will never come

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that will never come (and I lie to myself)
We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and were waiting on something that will never come(and say it's for the best)
We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that will never come (and I lie to myself)
We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that will never come (and say it's for the best)

I’m not sure why, I just feel strange. I don’t know if it has something to do with stress, or the pressure everyone is putting on me to figure out what I want to do with my life. For the love, it’s my life! The more people ask me, the less I want to share my thoughts. On another note, I’m feeling very unloved…and unlovable. I’m not in a very good state of mind at the moment, I s’pose. It’s not that I don’t have good friends or family…I just am not right with the world, so to speak. Getting up in the morning seems to be more challenging recently than most days. Doing things that I like are hard. Right now, I just want to quit. I want everything to go away and I want to start something new…it doesn’t even have to be real. I would rather it wasn’t. I know none of this is making any sense, but I don’t know how else to say what I’m feeling. I’m not a very open person anyway, so this is as open as I get---while being completely obscure. *sigh* Something’s gotta give---and soon. I’m not happy. Of course, what does that really mean? It would be nice to at least identify with some of the characteristics of being happy. Maybe it’s b/c I’m not going to be able to see my family for a while. I don’t know. Maybe it’s b/c I’m just me. How is that going to change?

Okay, so I should be working on my paper...which was my intention, but I have felt the need to blog since Friday...so, here goes.

Friday was so fun! Early Friday morning, Zainab and I could have been found at Wal-Mart...okay, well late Thursday night, but Friday morning, at her house glittering. We were being completely 'girly'. It was fun. We made a "just married" poster for Lara's door. Actually, Zainab made it, I just added some stickers. Yeah, I got home around 2:30 or so Friday morning. Woo! So fun though. But we got up early and met some of our fellow research buddies at Lara's office to decorate her door. Little did I know that it would turn into an all day event. We blew up ballloons, signed the poster, and put it all on the door. We were even allowed into her office to put more balloons inside. Okay, so Zainab went to class, I went to code and later we picked up Renesha and bought more supplies for the decoration process. I didn't get to go finish, but I'll get to that later. Zainab and John ended up blowing up tons of balloons and filling the office with them. I can't wait to get a reaction from Lara! :)

I left the decorating party to meet up with Becca. Friday was her b-day. I went shopping with her b/c she needed new clothes and her parents were paying (b-day). It was really fun. I'm glad she found what she was looking for. It was so good to hang out with her. We hadn't done that in a while. We had a pretty eventful day and had a great time. It was so fun!

When I got home around 4:30 or so, I called Zainab---who was still blowing up balloons. I was going to go help her, but she said they were almost finished so I just met her at her house. John showed up too and we all hung out for a while. Then I came home to get my phone and Becca came back with me. I had to go to work, but she stayed. I was so surprised, but very happy b/c Becca's not the type of girl to hang out with people that she doesn't know very well---esp. on a more intimate level. I came back from work and they were all having a great time. I'm kinda sad I missed it.:( But we hung out for a bit and watched a movie. It was a lot of fun. Yay for Becca!

Last night we were going to hang out, but Zainab wasn't feeling well b/c of things that had happened earlier in the week. So I took her to the doctor. Everything's fine. She's still not feeling completely well, but she's doing a little better. I hope it ends soon. Maybe things will get better as things get less stressful.

She and I hung out again tonight and didn't get anything done. It's kind of been a weekend like that. But it has been fun. Becca made a point--growing up has a lot to do with the choices you make. We all had a great time and we were just being ourselves. It was wonderful. I love the fact that we can all have different viewpoints and can just be ourselves. It's great. Becca said priorities have changed and that we don't have a lot in common with our peers. In that she meant that it seems that partying is a big part of everyone else's 'good times.' Not that we don't like to go out and have fun, but it's not necessary for fun. I agree.

To address the earlier 'girly' comment. Maybe I was just in one of those moods. Or maybe if you want me to do something 'girly', ya better catch me during that time of the month---it may be your only chance. I dunno. Anyway...it's getting late and I'm out of things to talk about...so, 'til next time...

I'd like to dedicate this song to some people in my life...

Sympathy for the Martyr
by Straylight Run

You just can't relax
And you can't rely
on anyone for anything
so you make your complaints
and all everyone's let you down
you just cant.. ever win
convinced theres a war on, its always everybody versus you
convinced that your critics are watching
and you've always got
you've always got something to prove
so tie the noose
and raise the cross
the marytr's arrived
a desperate plea for sympathy
its all you'll need
laundry list of problems
it doesn't make you interesting
and never getting help doesn't make you brave
not listening to reason doesn't mean that you have faith
your just cutting off your nose to spite your face
so tie the noose
and raise the cross
the marytr has arrived
a desperate plea for sympathy
its all you need
and you want it all
you want it, you want it all (x 10)

You Are a Strawberry Daiquiri

You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party. You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk!

Dear lord! Today was such an incredibly long day. I had two meetings today. One was for a job for next semester. I know I can have the job, but I really wasn’t sure if I really want it. I really like babysitting for the Frechs. It’s great. I have a lot of fun and the family is great. Anyway…turns out that Tues, Wed, and Thurs are required for this other job. Not doable. I definitely want to keep the job w/ the DV group on Thursdays. So, I’m probably going to pass on the job, even though she said that she would try to work with the schedule and that I was the top candidate for the job. I just don’t know. It’s nice to be wanted for something, but I just don’t know that I would like being a team leader. We’ll see how it pans out.

My second meeting was supposed to be with my professor. He didn’t show up, which was kinda nice actually. He sent out messages later saying he needed to cancel the meetings because he had been ill. Eh. It was kind of a wasted day, but at least I didn’t have to meet with him. 

I did get some good news though. I am getting a grant from my tribe soon. Yay! That will definitely help with what I have left to pay in tuition. That takes some pressure off. But I’m still in search of a job for some extra money. Hopefully I can find something soon.

I swear, I didn’t think the meeting tonight was ever going to end! Every time we thought we were finished, someone would bring up something else to talk about. Geez! I understand…but seriously, we didn’t get out of there until almost 9. ugh. I probably wouldn’t have cared if I hadn’t been so tired and still had to make some phone calls after work. *sigh* But now, I guess the day is over, so I can go to bed at last. So…’til next time…

Three Names You Go By
1. Mel
2. Meleroonie
3. Lis

Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. Cherokee
2. Cherokee
3. Cherokee

Three Things That Scare You
1. The people I love dying
2. Failing
3. Never leaving

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Chapstick
2. Dr. Pepper
3. Music

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Scooby Doo socks
2. Fuzzy, purple jacket
3. gray pj pants

Three of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment
1. Existentialism on Prom Night--Straylight Run
2. Sugar, We're Goin Down--Fall Out Boy
3. Do You Want To--Franz Ferdinand

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Laughter
2. Honesty
3. Friendship

Two Truths and a Lie (in any order)
1. I am graduating in December
2. I want a cat
3. I want to stay in Norman

Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You
1. Height
2. Eyes
3. Humor

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Reading
2. Doing silly stuff with my friends
3. Journaling

Three Things You want to do really badly right now
1. Finish college
2. Stop smoking
3. See an old friend

Three Places You Want to go
1. NY
2. Africa
3. Canada

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Go to Africa
2. Learn my native language
3. Find a place where I'm happy

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl/Guy
1. I like romantic comedies
2. I worry and overanalyze everything
3. I wear makeup everyday

Three people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Zainab
2. Aaron
3. Manda

So, I'm sitting here trying to work on my research propsal, which is due really soon. I had ideas at one time, however, nothing is coming at the moment. Eh. But...last night I went to the best party! It was Mona's 21st b-day celebration. Oh what fun! So, I got semi-dressed up...enough for me, anyway. And went to Payam & Zainab's house. OMG! They put on the Persian music (which is so great, btw) and started dancing. I wasn't really into it at first---sorry, guys, I'm a bit of a loser. But then, I couldn't resist and started dancing. plus I got dragged onto the floor. :) They were all trying to teach me how to do it correctly...I dunno, I've never been one for dancing, but this was great! After a while, it was hard to stop. The music is just so much fun and it was a blast! We danced for about 3 hours or so then got really tired. It was such a great crowd! I think that really made the difference. I met some really cool people and had an amazing time! I wish I could have shared it with everyone! Oh, well. I seriously think it was the best party I have been to. It was great. No need in getting wasted. I love my friends! Thank you guys for such a great night! But now, I should get back to work...'til next time...