Did everything just taste purple?

It was good to be home this weekend. The longer I'm there, the more I want to be there. I'm so looking forward to getting out of Norman when I can. I just need something a little more stable. Nothing else mattered this weekend except my family & that was incredible. We had such a great time and of course there was great cause for celebration. :) Allyson Ondrea was born on Thursday, January 26, 2006. She is so beautiful. I just fell in love when I saw her. Karm & Gerald are so excited and proud. Jer & Isaiah are very proud and protective. It's just amazing. I can't get over how wonderful everything is. It was so hard to leave. It's always hard to leave, lately anyway. I can't wait to go back. I don't want to miss too much, but I know I will. I'm so excited to be an aunt again. My first niece! It's still a little hard to believe. :) But it's been well worth the wait. Well, 'til next time...

As most of my posts are random thoughts, I thought I'd make it official. I really don't know why I'm still in Norman right now. I should be with my family, but that's okay, I s'pose.

Things have calmed down a bit. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. I am still in the frame of mind that this change is for the best. I don't think anything should be 'done' necessarily, but that accepting what has happened and moving on would be the best option. Eh...that's my take on it. It doesn't matter to me how others want to deal with it...in that I mean 'to each his own.' I've come to terms that things won't be the same no matter what, so why try to force something that isn't there? Move on...life's too short.

I woke up this morning unable to breath. blah. I think it's allergies. I don't know what else to chalk it up to, although everyone at work has been quite sick for the past few weeks. Yuck.

I've been sitting here for nearly an hour with nothing to do...I'm bored! I guess I should find something. so, 'til next time...

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

Well, tonight I was kinda forced to be social. :) I went to Andrea's birthday party. It was really a lot of fun. Becca, Zainab, & Payam came too. There were a lot of people there and no one that I knew. It was cool though. Andrea is seriously one of the sweetest people I know. She is just very sincere and very welcoming.

I just got back from P & Z's. We talked a bit. It was fun. I love our conversations. I am going to miss them a lot when I get outta here. It's going to be wierd not having them right down the street. *sigh* But change happens and ya deal with it. I think change is always good. Even if it isn't fun at the time, or even hurtful, I think things change for the best (eventually). There is always something to be learned from it. It's good.

Okay, I'm going to stop now, b/c I'm sounding like the narrator from the Wonder Years. Plus I need sleep. Well...'til next time...

So it turns out that I am going to the FOB concert. I'm way excited! It whould be a lot of fun. John bought our tickets yesterday, so now we definitely know we're going. I can't wait. There will be six of us going...the more the merrier, right? ;) Yay!

In other news...I'm still trying to get out of this funk. I don't want it to turn into what it was the last time I was here. I am forcing myself to go to Andrea's b-day party tonight. That should be fun. Of course, I'm taking along all my friends, lol. She won't care. I still have to decide what to wear...hmmm.

Last night was one of those nights where I really could have just stayed home and not seen anyone. But i worked and then went to Becca's. It was good though. It was just the two of us and I think it may have been what we both needed at the moment. I'm gonna miss those nights just hanging out and doing nothing. :)

Well, I really can't think of anything else...so, 'til next time...

God, today was a great day. I ran errands this morning and got a lot done. Then I decided to take some time and just be by myself. I read a little bit before I had to work. That was good. I enjoyed the time. I needed to focus on something new, even if it wasn't really anything.

This evening I had fully intended on staying home and cleaning my room...or finally finishing it. eh. Anyway...I received a phone call and got an offer I couldn't resist. I spent a good hour and half with a friend at Barnes & Noble discussing the finer points in life. Okay, maybe that wasn't the conversation so much, but it did provide a great deal of comic relief. I can always count on him to make me laugh. It was good to have someone understand my viewpoints and to not hold anything back. Perpective is good. After coffee, cookies, and numerous stories about absolute craziness we decided to leave. It had been way too long. Hopefully the next time won't be as long.

As for other things...I think things are clearing up. But I'm not going to worry about that anymore. I can't drive myself crazy. Just live. I'm still not convinced that things happen for a reason, but I do know that when things are out of my control, I should just let them alone and go from there. I can only do so much. We'll see, I s'pose.

Well, again, I had not planned on staying up this late. I guess it's time for bed now. So...'til next time...

Okay, so I got really pissed off tonight. I saw some things that were really uncalled for and it upset me. Later I realized that these things won't matter in the long run so for now, they aren't worth the time or the effort of being upset about. God, ya live & ya learn. Although it doesn't do much for my trust issues. I guess I had good cause to be cautious. I would have said something, but the opportunity didn't present itself. Perhaps another time...and maybe not. I don't want to be bothered by the same shit over and over again. It's ridiculous and I'm pretty much done. I can't change anything and at this point, I really don't think I want to. I don't feel like going in circles anymore, especially when I don't feel like it's real.

Tomorrow I'm going to talk to a friend of mine. Perhaps that will help clear my head a bit. It can't hurt, right? I know I can count on this friend to at least give me some perspective. I'm not sure what we'll talk about yet, but I know it will help.

Everybody called tonight. Wow, I guess I needed some friend-time. It still amazes me how well my friends know me. Even those that I've made over the past few months can pinpoint my emotions in many areas. It's good, I guess, to have people know me so well. It's an indication that they care, or are at least paying attention. haha. Of course, the cynic in my always says, "yeah, but don't let them know too much...it could come back to haunt you." Let people in? or don't? Usually no. But sometimes I do and then I find out that that's a mistake. I don't know where I was going with this. I'm not in a very optimistic mood right now. Can't imagine why not...

It's time for bed, but I'm convinced that I can't sleep. Damn. I think I'll only stick to caring about family from now on. trust: Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. Nice word...too bad it doesn't mean much. Well...'til next time...

Your Birth Month is March

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe. Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity. Your soul reflects: Respect, desire, and generosity Your gemstone: Aquamarine Your flower: Daffodil Your colors: White and light blue

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true."
Martin Luther King Jr.

I don't exactly know why, but this word has been on my mind today. All day long, I've been thinking about it. (a)The state or quality of being fully grown or developed.(b)The state or quality of being mature. Growing as a person, understanding more of who you are and who others are. These things become more fine tuned as we age. I can see this growing process in a lot of the decisions that I make lately. I am under the impression that in life, people take different paths and do so by their own choices. No one else can be blamed for what goes wrong in another's life. It depends on how one perceives the situation. Taking responsibility for your actions and decisions is a sign of maturity. I remember how things were in high school. When nothing was solved and everything was everyone else's fault. It was easy to say 'the sky is falling'--and I blame you. But as we get older, hopefully we don't fall into those same patterns. Hopefully we've learned from those situations and taken the opportunity to be mature and work through things. Of course, this is a nice little utopia I've created here. I know better. Sometimes those things just slip in and it's hard to overcome. I'm convinced that when I finally make it to a mature state, say adulthood, that I will be able to work through situations...or at least try. I know that I will have help and I can face it---without being resentful in any way. I am thankful for the people in my life who show me that there are things worth fighting for and things that just aren't worth the fight.

Concerning life and other things...I am ready for a break. I shouldn't be stressed right now, but I really am. I have some things to think about and some things to do. There is so much I need to do and so much I want to do, but I am not sure how to go about them. I know I'm ready to cut out what isn't working. As I've said before, if it's not improving your life in any way, get rid of it. This pertains to a lot of things right now. At least one thing is gone. I just need to really think about some things.

I think I will take some time for myself tomorrow. It will be a good time to relfect on some things. There are so many things that are up in the air at the moment. I need to just think. I'm nervous about some things. I know some things aren't going to work out. I can deal with that. I also know that I need to decide on some things soon. I'm not really sure what my decisions may be yet. I guess we'll see.

One last note. I had a great time tonight. I hung out with the gang and had a great time. I wasn't really in a social mood, which kinda came through. Sorry guys. But it was fun. I just wish I'd had more energy. My mood was pretty much how it was all day long. But as you can see, I've been doing a lot of thinking. *sigh* I'm gonna miss everyone, but at the same time, it will be great to get away. I actually wish I could leave now. Just start all over and be gone. That would be best. Well...'til next time...

Hmmm...lemme see what's been going on? Not a lot really. I talked to my family a lot this week. I guess it's not that surprising. I dunno. Maybe it's b/c I'm older and I don't get to see my family whenever I want to, but I really enjoy talking to them. I have heard some of my friends complain that they ahve to talk to their famiies every day or that their family is always bugging them about something. yeah, I've experienced that too, but some things are worth putting up with. Esp. when you aren't sure how long it will last. I dunno.

I finally read 'Running With Scissors' by Augusten Burroughs. Let me just say it is one of the funniest and saddest and great reads. I really liked it. I will say that not everyone should take on this book b/c it is a bit graphic and may be a bit much for some. But I loved it. There were so many great quotes in it. I really wished I had written some of it b/c some of them were priceless. Here's my favorite: "Smoking had become my favorite thing in the world to do. It was like having instant comfort, no matter where or when. No wonder my parents smoked, I thought. The part of me that used to polish my jewelry for hours and comb my hair until my scalp was deeply scratched was now lighting cigarettes every other minute and then carefully stomping them out. It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes."

Today, I fully intended to wake up at 8 and run errands. I am speaking of course, of Friday, Jan. 13th. Anyway...I woke up around 9:49 a.m. Geez. I can't get up early for anything these days. So I got up and got dressed. I almost made it out of my apartment kinda dressed up. At one point I was wearing a skirt, then nice pants and a sweater, but I finally settled on jeans, a pink pullover, and my brown jacket. Yeah, I shoulda known that dressing up wouldn't cut it. I did manage to run a few errands. I made it to CCFI around noon or so and then to the bank. Within the 5 minutes I was in the vicinity of the bank, I nearly got hit 3 times! Yes! 3 TIMES! I swear, I hate when everyone comes back to Norman. But then I ended up running errands w/ Houser. He is looking for a cat, so we hit some of the places to adopt felines. I had to go to work, but he continued the search.

I just got home and was feeling a little hungry. Popcorn sounded good. Now its just kinda sitting there on the couch next to me. I should put it away before the entire apartment smells of it. Anyway...I had a lot of fun tonight. I went to Payam & Zainab's (as usual). We hung out and met some new people. That seems to happen a lot there. It's funny, I never mind meeting people at their place. Most of them seem to be very quality people. It always seems to turn out well. It doesn't really surprise me though, they are both good judges of character.

Well, since it's almost 3 a.m. I guess I should go to bed. Again, I want to get up and run errands, but somehow I don't see that happening. I'll be lucky to get up before noon. eh. I do need to do a few things though. I'm sure I'll get some of them done. :) Anyway...'til next time...

Okay, I know that I've been posting a lot of crap lately, but i fugred it was time ofr a real post. Let's see, what has happened lately...Well, not a lot actually. I finally got my grade for Tests & Measurements. Yay! An A! Kinda weird. Now that I see that I got an A, I think Leah was right in assuming that he felt bad for or got tired of making us wait and just went through and gave us all A's. B/c we were all pretty sure that the final killed us. But I'll take the A.

Since I'm about real posts tonight...I had a good conversation with a friend of mine tonight. I was good to spend some time with her. It's been a while...which we established, lol. Anyway...we talked a lot about different things. It was a good conversation overall. I hope everything I said was clear and not hurtful. I'm pretty sure we were on the same page at the end--meaning that we understood each other's positions. I think it went well.

Tonight I was sort of in a social mood. I guess more so than I have been lately. But that doesn't mean that I went out. I hung out at Becca's for a bit. That was fun. We talked a lot and watched Law & Order. 'magine that. I also went to Payam & Zainab's for tea & dessert. I liked it, but it had almonds in it so I didn't eat a lot of it. I felt bad. god, I'm so picky. I dunno...anyway...Houser came too. It was good to see that boy. He cracks me up. It was fun hearing his stories from when he was back in NY. I love hanging out w/ the gang...I swear they bring out the kid in me. I like it. :)

When I got home, I called Bailey. I swear, I love that kid. It was really good to hear his voice. I would love to see him. He thought it had been at least 5 months since we had seen each other. Wow. I can't believe it's been that long. It's crazy. I'm glad he's doing well though. I should probably give him a call on Saturday, since it's his b-day. I'm so terrible at remembering things like that. *sigh*

Well. it's late and I'm really tired. So...'til next time...

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Questioning Believer... 

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Apparently, I've changed... 

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

About me 

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Monday, January 02, 2006

Uneventful 

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