Did everything just taste purple?

Okay, so there are a lot of things going on right now. Looking for a job, quitting jobs, living situations...etc. Then there's the matter of me not being completely forthcoming in my blog. My god, this is what it's for right?

I guess people really feel comfortable telling others things online. It makes some peole nervous, which is understandable. I just get the feeling that it may be the only way some people can be completely honest with others. That's cool.

As for my blog...I honestly don't care if people read this or not. It's just a way for me to get my thoughts down. Anyway...like I said, forthcoming...

These past few months have been crazy. Trying to decide what was next in my life and not finding anything that really made me sit up and take notice and then with all the 'drama' that reminded me of high school I had seriously about had enough. But there is no reason to be frustrated over things that other people do. I mean, no matter what, you can't change some things. Esp. when people can't see beyond themselves. I can't worry about that. It's sad b/c nothing was resolved, but trust was broken and that can't be replaced. It's really hard to trust people when their words don't match their actions...well depending on the parites involved. Kind of a tangent...but oh well. I've had friendships fall apart before--everyone has. People change---that's acceptable. I know that people can't be depended on too much b/c eventually someone will get screwed. Point & case...

A lot of that goes into work. I just don't like having to deal with some of the things that are occurring there, which is why I'm giving it up. I would love to continue, but it's hard to want to be somewhere when I don't feel very effective. I hate that this program isn't what it used to be. It's really not the program...I mean, Senior staff is great. We have lost a lot of really good volunteers & I feel that the kids are suffering b/c of this. It's not the entire program & it's not every child, but there are definitely things happening that are not cool. And I'm really not being petty...I'm not the only one who has noticed. *sigh* I don't know. I guess leaving isn't really fixing it, is it?

I've had some interesting conversations lately. People have been coming out of the woodwork it seems. I have had contact with a few old friends this week. It's kind of strange, but good. I like hearing from them. And it seems that they have to be the ones to contact me b/c I am terrible about keeping in touch. Why do people put up w/ me? I have no idea.

Anyway...I'm getting sleepy, so...'til next time...

Well, lately I've felt this urge to blog. I really don't know why. It's not that I have anything profound to say, but I just thougth I would sit and start typing...so here I am.

I am so excited about the changes that are going on. I only have a short time left at one of my jobs. I am really ready to give that one up. I love the job, but there are other factors involved. I just feel very uncomfortable and I don't like the feeling I have when I leave. I don't want it to be a burden & that's what it is turning into. I have been trying to think of people who could take my positions at some of my jobs. So far, I think one is taken care of. I have recommended a friend for another, but I'm not sure if that will work out or not. There are a few things riding on that. We'll see.

I swear, sometimes my friends and I pick the strangest places to have 'heart to hearts'. We were at the FOB concert last week and we started talking about crazy things. Well, I mentioned something from my past that apparently I had never talked about before. It was kind of funny, I guess. I seriously thought I had told Becca & Zainab. Or at least mentioned it, but apparently not. It was a good conversation. I would love to get back into it sometime just b/c I want to know their opinions, but defintiley not at a concert. :)

Yeah, it's things like that that I will miss. Just random conversations about everything. I swear, I don't think I will ever find friends like the ones I have for as long as I live. :) My friends are definitley original. If I do meet anyone like them, it would be very odd...but if it happens, I will let them know. :) I think one of the best things about my closest friends is that we may have our differences, but each is willing to learn from the others. I don't think anyone could have picked out the 5 of us and put us in a room and decided that we would all be such great friends. I don't think anyone would have put any of us together, honestly. lol. But ya never know.

I am missing one of my best friends terribly this week. Two weeks ago, I was missing the other 3. *sigh* I guess it's just prepartion for what's to come. Ya ever just want to freeze time? Ya know, when things are going great and you just don't want the moment to end? That's how I feel right now. As much as I want to leave Norman, I just don't want these moments with my friends to stop. The random 'couch talks,' road trips, sleepovers, movie nights, celebrations over something unexpected...it's been wonderful. There are still 2 months left. I'm hoping we can have many more of those.

It's supposed to rain. :D This makes me incredibly happy. I absolutely love the rain. It is so calming, beautiful, and romantic (yes, I said romantic). I just love it. I think I am absolutely the happiest in the rain. It's just fun. Not so much to drive in, :), but to play in, to walk in, just to watch. It's wonderful.

April starts on Saturday. 9 weeks. I think I'm ready.

Well, 'til next time...

Okay, I'm reposting this b/c it got screwed up...I don't know why, but here it is...it's old, but oh well. :)

Well, it's the end of everyone's spring break. I'm done w/ cats for the moment, which is kind of nice. Yeah, I completely don't have time for a pet. But that's okay, I don't want to have to move one anyway. But back to the title...

Thursday night started out strange enough. I was home before 6:30 p.m. yeah, really strange for a Thursday. So Houser & I went to B&N for coffee. He had just gotten back from Florida & I knew he was dying to talk about it. :) So we hung out. It was fun. He cracks me up. Then we bought coffee for Zainab & took it to her. We ended up hanging out there until about 1:30 a.m. Crazy. So not what I had intended, but it was a lot of fun. We all just talked, played on the trampoline, and enjoyed the company.

Not a lot happened Friday, besides that fact that I worked all day. But I ended up with a major migraine. And I havne't really felt completely better since. Anyway...

Yesterday I did some cleaning and shopping for things that I needed around my apartment. That was cool. Then I stopped off to see Zainab. It's been kind of a slow week b/c everyone has been out of town. I really missed Becca, Payam, & Houser when they were gone. So...Payam was flying into Tulsa last night around 10 or so. Zainab wanted to surprise him by meeting him at the airport. So she, John, & I jumped into my car and drove to Tulsa. It was very fun. We got back around 2 a.m. Not too bad, but I had to work all day today. Eh...

So, I worked all day today. Pretty much from 8 a.m. until 6:45 p.m. Payam called and asked if I wanted to watch a movie with him. I said I'd be over later. Becca finally made it home so I went to see her. She brought me the coolest Pirates of the Carribean frame and shot glass. I'm very excited about them both. :D So then I went to Payam's. We watched Proof. It's pretty good. There was definitely some nerdy humor, which I loved. Payam & I were cracking up. I think I might buy it eventually. It's not a bad one to own.

One thing that I'm very proud of is that I am considered weird. It may not mean anything to some people, or it may cause offense to others, but depending on who addresses me on the issue...I take it as a compliment. I like not being part of a mold. It keeps me me. :) So anyway...'til next time...

So, I've had a pretty terrible week. Actually, the past few weeks haven't been that great, but that's life. I haven't been in the mood to deal with anyone except my really close friends. I know, terrible. But that's just where I've been lately. I try to be polite to everyone else, b/c there's no point in no being polite--even to people I don't necessarily like. But even at times, I'm not very nice to those that are my friends. I just haven't been the greatest friend latetly. I don't know exactly. Things have changed. It's completely me. Everyone else is pretty much the same, but I'm not satisfied with things. I really want to move on. Not from my friends, but from this place. I don't want to lose the amazing relationships that I have now, but at the same time I just don't feel that I relate in the same way. In many areas. I know that this is not where I was going when I began this blog...but here I am. Anyway...

Last night was a lot of fun. For the most part. A few of us gathered and went the Fall Out Boy concert. We also got to see The Hush Sound, From First to Last, Hawthorne Heights, and The All-American Rejucts. It was very fun FOB was absolutely wonderful, as was Hawthorne Heights. I wish HH had played longer. I got to see a little bit of The Hush Sound. I was happy about that. Thank you to Becca for an amazing graduation gift. I was very happy! :) *sigh* Pete Wentz was hilarious. He's such a cutie. I love his personality. They did some old songs & new songs. It was nice that they did stuff from Take This to Your Grave. I was excited to hear "There's a light on...in Chicago..." I love that song. :D

I am so excited that I can sleep in tomorrow. Yay for me! Although, I do need to get up to call my mom. It turns out that my uncle isn't doing very well right now. I've never been close to him, but I am really feeling for my mom right now. She has never lost a sibling. My dad has lost 3. It must be really hard to lose soemone you've known your entire life.

Well, I'm falling asleep, so I'll update more later. So, 'til next time...

1. First name? Melissa
2. Were you named after anyone? yes, my aunt's friend
3. Do you wish on stars? no
4. When did you last cry? today, a tear or two, an actual cry--hmmm, last week, i think
5. Do you like your handwriting? not really, but i write messy enough that it's hard to duplicate---even for me
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? ugh...the thought makes me shudder
7. What is your birth date? March 9
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? hmmm...Gavin Degraw or my own "monster ballads" creation
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? i guess it depends what mood i was in, lol
10. Do you have a journal? yes
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? define a lot...i guess so
12. What are your nicknames? mel, mel-jo, meleroonie, lis, walisa, liz, lizard, probably more
13. Would you bungee jump? not unless it was w/ another person
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? sometimes
15. Do you think that you are strong? emotionally or physically? i have strong emotions...
16. What is you favorite ice cream flavor? strawberry, or the crimson & cream
17. Shoe size? 7
18. Red or pink? depends on the day
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? that i come off really reserved
20. Who do you miss most? my babies :)
21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? not sending it
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? a black t-shirt & a robe...i'm ready for bed!
23. What are you listening to right now? Crawling Toward the Sun by The Hush Sound
24. What is your favorite book? I still really love HP, but I couldn't do w/ out Jesus Freaks or The Brave Little Tailor (Disney version)
25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Emerald Green--it shines :)
26. What is the weather like right now? Cool, it might snow (or so they say)
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? my mom.
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? height/eyes
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yes
30. Favorite Drink? tea (from Payam or Zainab), DP, or margarita
31. Favorite Sport? to watch? baseball to play? baseball w/ my boys
32. Hair Color? brown (mostly)
33. Do you wear contacts? nope
34. Eye color? brown, baby
35. Favorite food? ice cream (very healthy)
36. Last Movie you watched? Walk the Line (at the dollar)
37. Favorite day of the year? I have no idea--Halloween?
38. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings
39. Summer or winter? winter
40. Hugs or kisses? depends on who's handing them out
41. What is you favorite dessert? cheese cake--or something lemon
42. Who is most likely to respond? n/a
43. Who is least likely to respond? n/a
44. Living arrangements? as of this moment, i'm in an apartment...who knows what the future will bring?
45. What books are you reading? just finished his dark materials, i picked up the fountainhead, and narnia
46. What's on your mouse pad? hmmm...don't have one
47. What did you watch last night on TV? The Daily Show at P & Z's
48. Favorite smells? fresh cut grass, hay, citrus
49. Favorite Sounds? live music, kids laughing, my computer mooing
50. Rolling Stones or Beatles? hard one...but i guess the beatles.
51. What's the furthest you've been from home? minnesota?
52. Do you have a special talent? not that i'm aware of

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 90 movies on this list, you have no life.

Mark the ones you've seen. There are 190 movies on this list. Put your score in header and repost:

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x)Neverending Story
( )Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 8

(x) The Princess Bride
(X ) Young Frankenstien
( ) Anchor Man: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(X ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
Total: 5

( ) Jason X
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
Total: 8

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
(X) Lilo & Stitch.
( )Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch
Total: 6

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch (jim carrey)
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Total: 7

(x) Universal Soldier
(X) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
Total: 6

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) the Terminal
( ) the Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
Total: 5

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(X ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
Total: 5

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child's Play
(X ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
Total: 7


( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Identity
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
TOTAL: 4

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty
TOTAL: 6

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
Total: 4

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(X ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday (the one with Jodie Foster!)
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(X ) The Hot Chick
Total: 10

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x)A Walk to Remember
( )Boogeyman
Total: 5

(x)Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars EpisodeIThePhantomMenace
(x) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones (
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x)Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
Total: 8

(x) Air Force One
(x) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(X) People Under the Stairs
() Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap
(x) Parent Trap Re-make
(x) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator-2
( ) T-3
Total: 10

(x) Empire Records
() SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
(x) I Heart Huckabees
() 24 Hour Party People
() Blood In Blood Out
total: 6

grand total = 147

Ever have one of those days where you just can't figure things out? I'm not quite sure what's going on yet, but I feel a little out of it.

I started a post a few weeks ago, but never posted it. It was in reference to me leaving Norman. Well, I hadn't really thought about in terms of how my friends feel about it until then. I understand that they will miss me, b/c I know I will miss them. And I can see where they are coming from. But I don't want to be here anymore. I will be incredibly sad to not have them so close, but seriously I have been away from my family for 4 1/2 years now. Yeah, it's not going to be a 5-10 minute drive anymore, but I haven't had that with my family in years. I know that I probably won't have that when I move, but it won't be 3 1/2 hours either. I might actually get to see my nephews play sports, go to their school, see my niece take her first steps, and hang out with my parents for more than just a shopping trip or family dinner. I need this. I'm sorry, but I feel more guilty about missing out on so much with my family than I do about leaving Norman. But I'm not going back because of guilt. I want to go back. And I may not get my master's right away if I go back, but I also know that I won't do it here in Norman either. I will not apply to OU, that's the bottom line. Honestly, I hadn't really thought about it much until my birthday. The subject was brought up by someone that I did not expect it from. Which isn't a bad thing, it's just not what I needed on my b-day. Thanks to Becca for understanding that---but she's in the same boat. I'm so thankful that I have her as my friend. She understands so much, in many ways. Not that everyone else isn't understanding, but not so much with this subject. And I keep telling people that the more they bring it up and push for me to stay, the more I am going to be pushed toward leaving. I'm so freakin' stubborn. *sigh*

On a brighter note, I got home at 8:45 tonight. yay! Not what I was expecting, but I'm way excited about it. But it's after 9 now & I need to get some things done before I head to bed. So...'til next time...

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Well, I just got home from my b-day celebration. It was so much fun! There were quite a few people there. I was very excited. I had such a great day! I woke up and began to get ready and then I got a phone call. It was Zainab! yay!!! Well, she asked me if I would stop by before I went to work. So I did. She & Payam bought me these absolutely fantastic shoes. They are so cute! I also got button that said 'Party Princess'. I wore it tonight. They also gave me a Peter Rabbit book & journal. Way cool.

Work was good. I was only there for a few hours and then Sequita brought me a cake. It was very good. I was very surprised about it and way excited. I left work and then picked up the girls. They gave me a gift certificate to Borders. Wow. I was extremely shocked. I love Borders. After I picked up Alison, there was a bit of a fender bender. Everyone was okay & we weren't involved, but it was still kind of bad. I felt bad for the people who were involved. I went to DV group & Sequita had cupcakes for me & gave me a gift certificate. I can't believe she did all that for me. She's so awesome.

I really enjoyed tonight. Thanks to everyone who came! Becca gave the greatest t-shirt--"I wish Dubya would go hunting w/ Dick". Yeah, priceless! I so want to wear it to work tomorrow, but it's still at Becca's and probably inappropriate. And she gave me some other things, a button, a candle, & lip balm. Payam & Zainab also gave me the Deluxe Weezer cd. Yeah, I was pretty surprised. Michaela gave me Panic! At the Disco and Mona gave me a Bob Dylan cd. I'm way excited about all of my presents! Thanks to everyone!

I didn't get to talk to everyone as much as I would have liked to. I was glad that Becca & Nate hit it off. They talked quite a bit. Yay! That makes me happy! :D It was so much fun. I wouldn't have changed a thing about my last birthday in Norman---well, maybe not the accident. But it was so great. I'm a little wierded out about one thing, but I'm not going to think about it much. Or at least try not to.

Well, it's late. I have to work in the morning. Hopefully I will be up & at 'em. We'll see. Anyway, 'til next time...btw...I did not get Johhny Depp for my b-day. Maybe next year. ;)

Well, I had the urge to post a few days ago, but I was so exhausted I decided to sleep instead. Probably a good choice.

I went home this weekend. It was really good. I know, I always say that, but seriously it felt good to be there. It is getting harder and harder to come back to Norman. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I don't know what I would do w/out the gang sometimes, but I love my family as well and I really feel that is where I need to be right now. As it draws nearer, I'm excited to think that I will be able to see everyone whenever I want to---for the most part. I don't really want to think about leaving Zainab, Payam, Becca, & John right now. Those 4 are the closest friends I have here. I don't want things to change, but they might. I've really gotta work at keeping these friendships. I want to be able to go to their weddings and know their kids. I know, I don't usually do the wedding thing, but for them, I definitely would. I might whine a little, but I would be more than happy to go. :) But that's very much the future.

So, I downloaded firefox. Everyone told me that it would be faster & better. Well, now my internet is being more tempermental & I really don't think it's any faster. But that's just my opinion.

Random side note: I bought the new Harry Potter movie for 79 cents today. Let me explain...I went to Best Buy to get it. I saw that it was $14.99. cool. Well, I had gotten $5 from Reward Zone about a week ago. I had also gotten a $10 gift certificate from them for Christmas. Well, do the math...yeah, after taxes were added and all that jazz...I paid 79 cents. I was way excited! Although I left it in my car. I should go get that...

Anyway...my b-day is coming up. Yeah, I think I'm more excited about Harry Potter. I don't know. It's not that big of a deal to me. It just keeps reminding me that I'm a Pisces & I keep checking my horoscope...whatever that means. Other than that...eh.

Well, I'm exhausted...it's been a long day.